From Plant Medicine to Spiritual Teachings
The world is a very different place to when I last posted on Medium.
Maybe you remembered some of my explorative journeys into the etheric realms, astral bodies, and the underworlds with plant medicine such as Weed, Rapé, Mushrooms, Ayahuasca and Peyote.
Maybe you don’t. Maybe you’re here now by some miraculous incident connecting with my energy though the words on this screen whilst allowing the transmission to happen, surrendering lightly… taking a breath… slowing down... allowing... now.. this space to become a greater presence in your field of awareness as you sink with me.
—
The plants taught me a ton. But relying on an external source for — well — anything in life means you might be (or become) at some level, dependant. There isn’t anything necessarily wrong with being dependent on something or someone of course, but for me the expression of freedom in each moment calls my deeply — and with the knowing that it is only through a certain use of external substances I could experience certain states, I wanted to 1) learn how to let go of my desire to experience those states [heal.] 2) how to experience the bliss that my heart felt in MDMA with other methods [love.] 3) know that everything really is OK here in this body, in this life, without taking LSD [safety.]
Heal
In walks Mahavatar Babaji.
Not, literally. But metaphorically, and emotionally. His presence is here.
I remember the first moment my dear brother Stefan asked me to say the word, ‘Babaji’ to my self (oh so softly) whilst in one of my first healing sessions with him on Koh Phangan. A feeling like no other permeated my being. A soft presence of warmth that I once knew, but had forgotten in this life time. Intuitively right the vibrations felt. The power of a word expressed with such clarity — showing me what a spell really is.
The guru, the healer, the masculine container that holds all. Shiva — Babaji. A discovery of the great guru saint within that has given me the confidence to trust that voice inside. The god in my heart to trust, and the support I needed.
Mahavater Babaji’s vibration has been coming through a Non-for-Profit Organisation I’ve been receiving healing sessions with for 2 years, The Kriya Lightning Foundation. KLF offers ‘free teachings, private healing sessions and international retreats to all those who seek awakening and inner freedom.’
And that, I’ve been lapping up like a puppy dog — Awakening? Yes, please. Inner Freedom? Yes, please! Healing to let go of the atrocities we put our children through on this planet? Yes-f*cking-please!
Love
Few things could compare to the overwhelming feelings of love after a tasty dab of MDMA with good friends and good music... but there is a gentler way. At that time, I needed the MDMA to blast something open in me that I’d forgotten about. But having not touched this delicious substance now for 2 years, I’m finding a softer way to nurture the heart that I exist through.
For much of my life I thought my interface unto the world was mind. Mind, thinking, comparing, analysing and putting things into boxes was the only way to exist. Everything I was told had led me to the conclusion my brain was the CPU and that if CPU didn’t work well then you didn’t work well. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, there is neurological tissue (which creates mind) in each of the pairs of glands through the body. Each of these glands map onto the ancient chakra system.
What I’ve been learning to do more and more is to bring my awareness out of the ‘brain mind’ and into my ‘heart mind’. By focussing my awareness/presence/attention (my energy) in my heart space I bring about a change in my physiology, and thus emotional state. My attention is my energy, and if I put it in the heart space, my body reacts accordingly — ‘heart stuff’ happens. Now the trick of course is learning how to hold my attention in the heart space for extended periods of time whilst being in the world with all it’s flavours of characters and obstacles. This then is the pursuit of mindfulness (and meditation) which I’ve now been practicing for 12+ years.
Safety
I didn’t have any major traumatic experiences or events growing up so the concept of feeling safe (or not) was never really in my field of awareness. This could be a blog post in itself, but it’s safe to say the healing work I’ve been doing has been teaching me what it means to feel safe in this body (embodiment), safe on this planet (learning the relationship between money and felt safety), safe in my emotions (not rising above, pushing them away or projecting onto others) and safe around different types of people (the Men’s Work I’ve been doing has allowed me to feel safety around and in anger.)
The LSD that I had previously found solace in in order to find safety most definitely supported my process of seeing that this whole damn experience of reality is as real as we make it to be, but in doing so I had further disembodied myself and created ego in top of an ego. A super ego, we could say.
It is through the embodiment work, emotional release practices and grounding practices that I’ve been reminding myself — daily — I’m here. I’m here, in this body in this life time with this unique set of features and background and culture and professional qualifications and friends and family and THIS is my home. Yes, the stars still call me. Yes, do I think this planet is a f-cking mess of a disaster — yes, often, compared with what we could create here.
And does the ripeness of my pursuit.. my passion for change…my deep desire to be part of something lead me to create again? Yes. Absolutely. Sooner rather than later.
I went deep into the planet medicines, deep into the spiritual teachings… now where’s the harmony? And service in my life? And that felt sense of joy, bliss, deep love and peace in as many moments of each day as I can create?
It’s time for that.
With love,
— Dazz
